Doctors warn against following a recently-growing trend. They urge women to not put wasp nests inside their vagina.

Yes, I too sometimes fear the world is going to hell.

Oak gall. That little hole there — that’s where the wasp larva exited. Image via Pixabay.

You thought Gwyneth Paltrow’s $66 jade vagina-eggs were something, but this is really the next level. Doctors are speaking against a new disturbing trend after some online retailers have started selling oak galls, which are basically wasp nests before they hatch.

Some wasp species inject their larva into oak trees. This process is very disturbing for the tree, which starts to secret tannic and gallic acids, until a formation called a gall is formed. This gall is then crushed and turned into a paste which you are supposed to apply inside your vagina. We’re not really sure if this involves crushing the larva as well, just to make it extra-gross.

Here’s a description from one seller on Etsy (no longer up, the product has been sold):

“Oak galls also known as oak apples comes from oak trees indigenous to Asia Minor and Persia. It is known as manjakani in Malay or majuphal in Indian. They are produced when the bark or leaves of the oak tree Quercus infectoria are penetrated by the female Gallwasp, Cynips Gallae-tinctoriae, who lays its eggs inside.The spontaneous chemical reaction caused by the penetration stimulates the bark or leaves to produce a roundish hard ball called an oak gall.” They add that galls have “been used as dental powder and as a treatment for toothache and gingivitis. It is a powerful astringent, the most powerful of all vegetable astringents. It can be applied topically or taken orally.”

Well yeah, smoking was treated to cure a sore throat too, and radioactive water was once considered to be good for your health, but that doesn’t really mean it’s OK.

They claim that the gall (again, a wasp’s nest) will tighten your vagina, improve your sex life, and restore the elasticity of the uterine wall. Now, serious talk. I know this might come as a shock to some people (obviously, to the people who are buying this), but here’s the thing: the vagina’s not just a pocket. You can’t just put stuff inside of it, and really, you should never ever put anything (cream, lotion, or insect villa) that hasn’t been approved by medics. It could wreak havoc on your bacterial flora, it could cause intense pain, and it could even increase the risk of vaginal infections. Damaging your vagina also raises the risk of pregnancy complications and could even lead to cancerous tumors, so this is no joke.

Though… to be honest, it kind of is. I mean, one can only wonder how people come up with this stuff, and what kind of people actually buy it. But then I remind myself that some people still believe the Earth is flat.