homehome Home chatchat Notifications


People can handle the truth -- more than you think

Speak your mind, but don't be a jerk.

Mihai Andrei
September 26, 2018 @ 8:24 am

share Share

A new study could have significant implications for interpersonal relationships and suggests that we should be blunt more often — even when we think we shouldn’t.

We’ve all been there at some point: a softening of the truth, avoiding an unpleasant discussion, or simply not telling your friend that he’s bad at karaoke — we do it to protect people’s feelings and to avoid awkward social interactions. But a new study explored the benefits and downsides of honesty in everyday relationships, finding that often times, people can afford to be more honest than they think they can.

Chicago Booth Assistant Professor Emma Levine and Carnegie Mellon University’s Taya Cohen say that people overestimate the damage that direct honesty does, at least in the long run.

“We’re often reluctant to have completely honest conversations with others,” says Levine. “We think offering critical feedback or opening up about our secrets will be uncomfortable for both us and the people with whom we are talking.”

Obviously, honest conversations are not always pleasant, but is that cost worth it? Levine and Cohen carried three experiments: in the first one, participants were instructed to be completely honest with everyone in their lives for three days. In the second one, participants had to be perfectly honest with a close relational partner, answering personal and potentially difficult discussion questions. In the third experiment, the roles were switched and participants had to honestly share negative feedback to a close relational partner. For the purpose of this study, honesty was defined as “speaking in accordance with one’s own beliefs, thoughts and feelings.”

In all experiments, participants reported that things panned out much better than they expected. Both when giving and receiving feedback, the expectation was worse than the reality turned out to be. Furthermore, in the long run, it seems that people appreciate those who are honest, even if the initial result is on the negative side.

The results suggest that individuals tend to misunderstand the consequences of increased honesty: in other words, we fear that if we’re honest, people can’t take it, and that will lead to all sorts of problems. But according to this study, we overestimate this negativity.

Simply put, researchers say, being honest (even when critical) might not be as bad as we tend to think.

“We’re often reluctant to have completely honest conversations with others,” says Levine. “We think offering critical feedback or opening up about our secrets will be uncomfortable for both us and the people with whom we are talking.”

Of course, this is still just a preliminary study. Many aspects of the process weren’t controlled — for instance, how you say something can be just as important, and who you say it to (and in what context) can also matter.

Our society can definitely use a bit more honesty and who knows — we may even get rewarded for speaking our mind.

The study has been published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology.

share Share

A Dutch 17-Year-Old Forgot His Native Language After Knee Surgery and Spoke Only English Even Though He Had Never Used It Outside School

He experienced foreign language syndrome for about 24 hours, and remembered every single detail of the incident even after recovery.

Your Brain Hits a Metabolic Cliff at 43. Here’s What That Means

This is when brain aging quietly kicks in.

Scientists Just Found a Hidden Battery Life Killer and the Fix Is Shockingly Simple

A simple tweak could dramatically improve the lifespan of Li-ion batteries.

Westerners cheat AI agents while Japanese treat them with respect

Japan’s robots are redefining work, care, and education — with lessons for the world.

Scientists Turn to Smelly Frogs to Fight Superbugs: How Their Slime Might Be the Key to Our Next Antibiotics

Researchers engineer synthetic antibiotics from frog slime that kill deadly bacteria without harming humans.

This Popular Zero-Calorie Sugar Substitute May Be Making You Hungrier, Not Slimmer

Zero-calorie sweeteners might confuse the brain, especially in people with obesity

Any Kind of Exercise, At Any Age, Boosts Your Brain

Even light physical activity can sharpen memory and boost mood across all ages.

A Brain Implant Just Turned a Woman’s Thoughts Into Speech in Near Real Time

This tech restores speech in real time for people who can’t talk, using only brain signals.

Using screens in bed increases insomnia risk by 59% — but social media isn’t the worst offender

Forget blue light, the real reason screens disrupt sleep may be simpler than experts thought.

We Should Start Worrying About Space Piracy. Here's Why This Could be A Big Deal

“We are arguing that it’s already started," say experts.