In 2014, Elliot Rodger, a 22-year-old virgin, shot, stabbed, and used his vehicle to ram into people around the University of California, Santa Barbara. Rodger killed six people and injured fourteen before comitting suicide with his handgun.
To many people, Rodger’s killing spree — known as the Isla Vista killings — was their first introduction to ‘incels’, a portmanteau of “involuntary celibate.” An incel is often defined as a heterosexual male who is frustrated with women and society at large for their lack of romantic success.
Although the vast majority of incels are nowhere near as unhinged as Rodger, studies suggest that incel communities are cesspools of brewing misogyny. Incels believe that how one looks is the most important factor in sexual selection among people. “Females” are seen as privileged and “hypergamous”, in the sense that they are exclusively interested in high-status males, with the implication they will quickly replace a partner if a higher-status male comes along. Feminism is disliked throughout.
In recent years, online communities dedicated to incels have boomed and the term itself has become mainstream. Indeed, for many reading this, this introduction is superfluous. You’ve probably heard about incels before and you most likely have strong feelings about them one way or the other.
However, you probably haven’t heard about femcels — the female equivalent of male incels. Although male incels will deny that such a thing as a female incel exists, reality would beg to differ.
A new study out this week delves into the experiences of involuntarily celibate women, highlighting their battles with sexual frustration and their pursuit of empowerment through non-violent means, adding nuance to the controversy surrounding involuntary celibacy.
A Glimpse into Femcel Communities
Researchers Hannah Rae Evans, a master’s graduate from the University of Alabama, alongside Adam Lankford, ventured into the femcel world to bring their stories to light. Their investigation centered on The Pink Pill, an online platform where femcels gather to share their experiences, frustrations, and hopes.
In predominantly male incel communities, the “black pill” refers to a fatalistic belief that unattractive individuals cannot improve their dating success regardless of their efforts. The “red pill” represents a skewed belief of how dating in the ‘real world’ works, with females retaining all the power. Both terms are a nod to The Matrix, in which the lead character Neo was given the option of taking a red pill, which would enable him to understand and experience what was truly occurring outside the illusion created by the Matrix, or a blue pill, which would allow him to return to experiencing only that illusion in ignorant bliss. The “pink pill” is the femcel version of this philosophy, with its own unique quirks.
The researchers used data collected from the most active subforums on The Pink Pill online community, examining over 24,525 posts to understand the nuances of femcel discourse.
At the core of the femcel experience lies a multifaceted sexual frustration encompassing unmet desires, the absence of suitable partners, and unsatisfactory sexual encounters.
Yet, it’s not just about the struggle for intimacy. The research highlights how femcels engage in profound discussions about gender, societal norms, and the dynamics of power and beauty. These conversations deeply reveal how societal expectations shape their experiences.
Contrary to the aggressive and violent tendencies often associated with male incels, the femcel communities studied showed a marked preference for non-violent means of empowerment. While some extreme views were noted, the overall tone of femcel discourse was far removed from the hostility seen in some male-dominated incel spaces. This distinction underscores the importance of not painting all involuntarily celibate individuals with the same brush as hateful and potentially violent people — be they male or female.
Power and beauty
“Another key finding is how much in-depth analysis and commentary we found from femcels. This is why we decided to include so many illustrative quotes within our findings and share what the femcels had to say about gender, societal expectations, beauty standards, power dynamics, and more,” Evans commented in an interview with PsyPost.
The researchers found that femcels often engaged in debates about women, power, and sexual dynamics. The power of physical beauty in women is particularly a common theme.
“It’s not about just beauty from the objective point, it’s about what you gain with beauty. I want that. That power,” wrote a user whose commentary was included in the analysis.
“Stacys [editor note: generic term for attractive female] know that they are hot, and they know that this gives them power and money, so they want to maximize their power.”
Unlike the stringent ideologies often found in incel forums, femceldom lacks a unified doctrine. What constitutes a femcel varies greatly, with some viewing it as a satirical stance against societal expectations, while others see it as a genuine expression of their struggles with dating and self-worth. Some hold extreme and radical views, but the concerning rhetoric of this vocal minority doesn’t seem to reflect the opinions of the community at large.
The new study also opens the door to further research, suggesting that understanding femcels could contribute to broader efforts in preventing radicalization and addressing mental health challenges linked to involuntary celibacy, male or female. By exploring the specific needs and experiences of femcels, researchers can develop more effective support strategies tailored to this group.
“There is still much to learn about the femcel community, their experiences, and the broader societal dynamics that shape their perspectives. For example, further research could investigate femcels’ struggles with social isolation, self-esteem issues, and interpersonal skills. We’d also like to do a direct comparison study of femcels and male incels,” Evans told PsyPost.
The findings appeared in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.
