In the spring of 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy stood before the nation with a message that was both simple and unsettling: America is in the grip of a loneliness epidemic.
This wasn’t a new phenomenon, but one that had been quietly festering for decades. What made Murthy’s warning so alarming was its scale. Half of U.S. adults report feeling isolated, according to data reviewed by Murthy, a reality that’s not just an emotional burden but a public health crisis.
A Loneliness Epidemic
“Loneliness is like hunger or thirst,” Murthy said in a recent interview. It’s a biological signal, a nudge from deep within our evolutionary past that something essential is missing. But, unlike hunger or thirst, loneliness doesn’t always resolve when we “eat” or “drink.” Instead, it has a tendency to linger, gnawing away at our mental and physical health in ways many people are only beginning to understand.
The problem with loneliness is that it’s not necessarily a matter of physical isolation. Otherwise, it would have been easy to fix. If you’ve ever felt alone in a crowded room, you’ve experienced the essence of loneliness. It’s not about being physically isolated; it’s about feeling disconnected. And for millions of Americans, that feeling has become chronic.
Now, a new study led by Natalie Pennington of Colorado State University, part of the American Friendship Project, has revealed something that may surprise many. Americans have an average of four or five friends, a number that has held steady since the 1970s.
So, although the so-called “loneliness epidemic” is only growing, it’s not for lack of friends. In fact, less than 4% of respondents reported having no friends at all. Instead, the issue seems to stem from a shortage of time and opportunities to foster deeper relationships. Or perhaps a shortage of willingness to engage in such activities.
According to Pennington’s survey of more than 6,000 people, Americans now spend less than three hours per week with friends, down from more than six hours a decade ago.
More Friends, But Less Time Together
The possible reasons for this disconnect are manifold. Today’s work culture and parenting demands leave people with little free time. A study by Bloomberg’s Justin Fox found that older Millennials — many of whom have young children — had 16 fewer minutes of leisure time per day in 2021 compared to adults of the same age in 2003. This shrinking window for social interaction may make it difficult to sustain friendships, although the gap isn’t all that significant in the grand scheme of things.
Another factor contributing to this friendship gap is the decline of communal spaces where friendships once flourished. In the past, unions, religious congregations, and civic clubs provided structured opportunities for people to meet regularly and build relationships. But participation in these in-person groups has declined sharply in recent decades, making it harder for people to connect organically.
Daniel Cox, director of the Survey Center on American Life at the American Enterprise Institute, explains that these organizations once helped regularize social contact. “You didn’t have to schedule time with your friends; you just showed up at the same place every week,” Cox says. Now, however, the burden is on individuals to manage their social calendars, a task many find daunting.
Meanwhile, social media has proven to be a double-edged sword. While apps and messaging platforms make it easier to stay in touch, they don’t necessarily foster the deep, meaningful relationships people crave. A lot of people text their friends every day, but these micro-interactions are lacking in other areas.
And with things like groceries delivered to our doors, streaming services replacing movie theaters, and work-from-home setups reducing office interactions, the everyday opportunities for casual, face-to-face interactions have diminished. The result? We encounter fewer people in our daily lives, and with that, fewer chances to form the bonds that sustain us.
Casual Friends Can Help, But They Aren’t Enough
One positive finding from the American Friendship Project is that even casual friendships — those not considered close — can still contribute to a sense of well-being. About 23% of the friendships reported in the survey fall into this “casual” category. And, while these relationships may not fulfill a deep emotional need, they do provide much-needed social interaction.
According to Pennington, weak ties like these can still help combat loneliness. “They may not be close friends, but casual interactions can reduce stress and make people feel less isolated,” she says.
Despite the benefits of these casual connections, Americans still long for deeper bonds. Forty-two percent of respondents said they wished they were closer to their friends. The desire for stronger relationships was clear across all demographics, though college-educated Americans were more likely to have frequent social interactions, perhaps because they tend to live near parks, libraries, and coffee shops—places that foster repeated, informal meetings with friends.
The Future of American Friendships
As perceived loneliness continues to rise, experts suggest that people may need to lower their expectations about what modern friendships can realistically look like. In an era where face-to-face meetings are becoming the exception rather than the norm, maintaining a weekly brunch date with friends might be unrealistic. Instead, Pennington and others recommend shorter, more intentional meetups. Rather than expecting hours of quality time, simply dropping by for a 20-minute chat might be enough to sustain a meaningful connection.
“There’s no substitute for in-person interaction,” says Dr. David Spiegel, a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University. “We tend to think of friendship as something that should come easily, but it actually takes work. Just as we know we need to exercise for our physical health, we need to put effort into our friendships for our emotional health.”
Solving loneliness is worth it. Research has shown that chronic loneliness can lead to a 29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and an alarming 50% increased risk of developing dementia. Murthy equates the mortality risk of loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
As the American Friendship Project continues to collect data, researchers hope their findings will inform efforts to address the loneliness epidemic. While it’s clear that Americans have friends, the challenge lies in nurturing those relationships and making time for deeper connections in a fast-paced world.
“The more you’re able to get closer to that in-person interaction, the more powerful it is,” says Murthy. “It doesn’t have to be a lot of time; a couple of minutes spent in person with somebody can be more powerful than a half-hour spent in distracted conversation, texting back and forth.”
The findings appeared in the journal PLOS ONE.
